


Big Blue Balls and a Silver G-String (2009)

by JennyB



Series: Advent 2009 [13]
Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Advent Challenge 2009, Brotherly Bonding, Gen, Slice of Life, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-13
Updated: 2009-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo's given a rather unsavoury task, but winds up finding it not so unpalatable after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Blue Balls and a Silver G-String (2009)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Advent Challenge 2009. Prompt: Decorating the Christmas tree.

"You want me to do what?" Crimson eyes narrowed slightly as Gojyo took a long drag off of his cigarette.

"Help Goku decorate that Christmas tree Hakkai got," Sanzo replied, his expression showing that he was being serious in his request.

"Why the fuck do I have to do it? Let Hakkai do it - he's the one who promised the kid he would."

"Because he's sick. Between puking his guts out every twenty minutes and being barely conscious the rest of the time, he can't. And why is he sick? Because you hooked up with that youkai tart of yours the other day, who happened to be sick with some shitty youkai flu, and after you brought her back to your room, Hakkai picked up the virus." He snorted in disgust. "Figures a sleazy roach like you would just be the carrier and not get sick at all from it."

"What?! Ok, first of all, she said the cough was because the cold air irritated her lungs, and second, that's such a bullshit reason, Sanzo! Goku never got sick, and he's around me a lot, too!" He paused long enough to finish off his cigarette and light another. "You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me!" he continued. "You're saying that Hakkai being sick is _my_ fault?"

"Goku has a different immune system, and he _never_ gets colds. Ever. So, if the dick fits, which you always say it does, _you_ deal with it."

The kappa rolled his eyes. "Fuck that. You're more like his daddy. You should be the one doing it, you stinking, lazy, shitty pr-" He cut himself off when he found himself, yet again, staring down the Smith and Wesson. Sanzo always seemed to fall back on that particular argument, and Gojyo had to admit that it did make some very good points. "Fuck, fine," he capitulated as he waved his cigarette around agitatedly in the air. "What the hell am I supposed to do, anyway?"

"Hakkai's got a box of shit in there - lights and stuff. I'm sure you'll figure it out, genius. Besides, how fucking hard could it be? Goku's got a book that Hakkai gave him; I'm sure there are pictures. Now get going. The monkey's already being enough of a pain in my ass."

Gojyo gave him a low, grandiose bow, and drawled mockingly, "And what, pray tell, are you going to be doing while I spend an afternoon with the monkey, oh benevolent Sanzo-sama?"

"As little as possible, but keep it up, dickhead, and it'll be kicking your sorry kappa ass." He smirked a bit and pushed the redhead out of his room and into the corridor. "Now you two play nice, because if you don't, it won't be a very merry Christmas for either of you." With that, he slammed the door in the hanyou's face and went to sit on his bed and enjoy his paper.

"Fuck." For about half a second, Gojyo debated simply blowing Goku off and leaving to go to the bar, but he quickly changed his mind. He knew that if he did, Goku would go whining to Sanzo, and when Sanzo was left with no choice but to deal with the teen himself, he knew the priest would kill him. He stuck his hands in his pockets and headed for the common room, and a hint of a smirk briefly ghosted across his features. Truth be told, Hakkai _probably_ wouldn't let the monk shoot him dead; however, when Sanzo would inevitably decide that his new mission in life was to make Gojyo's a living hell, he was pretty sure that the healer would _not_ intercede on his behalf. Especially if he was as sick as Sanzo said. He sighed heavily and went over to the mini-fridge to get a beer. If he was going to be forced to work, he was going to at least have some enjoyment while doing it. Besides, if he did a half-assed job of it all, Goku would finally shut up, and everyone would be happy.

He popped the top on his beer, chugged it, crushed the can and left it on the counter, and then got another one. This one he sipped after opening it, and lighting a fresh cigarette, he went to find Goku. The teen was kneeling on the floor, and very interested in the contents of a large, plastic tote. "Ne, Monkey! I hear you want to do something to this tree here." He smirked when he saw the other turn to him, a curious look on his face.

"I thought Sanzo was going to help me. He told me that Hakkai was sick, and that it would get done later." His brow furrowed deeper. "You can help if you want to, but maybe I should wait for Sanzo, because he said he'd do it."

Gojyo sighed inwardly when he saw the hopeful look in the golden eyes, and again, he cursed the priest for leading Goku on. Really, looking at the teen was like watching a big, stupid dog sitting and waiting for its master to give it a treat. "Yeah, well..." As he crushed out his cigarette into an ashtray, he thought about telling Goku the truth - that Sanzo couldn't be arsed and had shafted him onto the job. But for as much as he would relish putting the monk in a shitty position, he didn't want to do it at the teen's expense. He smirked as he exhaled. He had some scruples after all - who knew? Resting his hand on top of Goku's head, he said, "Sanzo wanted to, but, uh..." He tried to think up something Goku would believe. "I think breakfast isn't agreeing with him, or something. You know how he can get, yeah? I mean, thank fuck Jeep doesn't have a top, ne?" He smirked when Goku giggled, and he silently hoped the teen would bust his balls about it later. "But yeah, he needs a bit of 'quiet time', so I said I'd give you a hand."

"You really want to, Gojyo?"

"I said I did, didn't I?" the kappa remarked as he tried to sound enthusiastic. "Come on, it'll be fun. Whaddaya say?"

Goku grinned and nodded, and then his face fell. "Oh, but maybe I should just go _check_ on Sanzo. You know, make sure he's really ok?"

"Trust me, Goku, it's better to just leave him for a while. When we're finished, you can go check on him. Maybe he'll feel like coming to see what we've done."

Goku looked ready to argue, but when he saw Gojyo digging in the box, his enthusiastic grin returned and he went over to help. "We gotta put the lights on first."

Gojyo nodded as he pulled the bundle of minilights out of the tote, and then his face fell when he saw that they were tangled up in a jumbled knot. "What the fuck is this?" He tugged at the string, and he swore again when that only seemed to tighten the snarl of wire. "Fuck off; we seriously have to undo this?" He looked over at the teen. "You sure you want lights on this thing? Can't we just go for a 'natural' look?" He rolled his eyes when he saw the other's near-pout. "Fuck, fine. One string of lights coming up." Sitting down Indian-style on the floor, he slipped a cigarette between his lips and began to work. Twenty minutes, five cigarettes, and a long string of profanity later, the kappa had finally managed to straighten out the snaggle, only to swear again a moment later when he plugged them in and found that half wouldn't light. _I bet Hakkai and Sanzo knew this would happen and left me to fix it on purpose! Bastards..._ In agitation, he scrubbed a hand through his hair, finished his beer, and then with Goku's help, the two of them began trying to find the burned out bulb.

Eventually, they had a fully working set of lights, and Gojyo hefted Goku onto his shoulders as they started to wind the strand around the tree from top to bottom. However, having never actually _decorated_ a tree before, neither of them had realized that convention dictated that one usually started at the bottom, because that was where the plug end was located. For several moments, the two of them stared at the ugly orange extension cord that was draped along the side of the tree, and Gojyo huffed impatiently and lit a cigarette. "Fuck it," he said finally. "We're not taking them all off again. We'll just kind of weave it up along the trunk. If those guys don't like it, next time, they can do it themselves, ne?"

Goku nodded in agreement, and as the teen fed the cord to the kappa, he worked on snaking it around the branches - and swearing each time he was scratched by the needles. Eventually, the redhead plugged it in at the top, and he grinned when he saw that yes, all the lights were still lit. Hoping like hell that the worst was over, he questioned whether the light manufacturers were some sort of sadists, what with how ridiculously twitchy the Christmas lights were to handle and how, on several occasions, he'd been about ready to hit something in frustration as the wires seemed to self-tangle just by sitting idly on the floor. 

"M'kay. Now what?" Gojyo asked as he stabbed out his cigarette.

Goku grinned as he rummaged through the tote. "This!" he said as he held up a package of tinsel.

Gojyo looked at the fine silver strands, and then at the other. With a shrug, he grabbed a small handful and tossed it at the tree, letting it flutter down over the branches wherever it felt like landing. "Like that?" he asked the teen.

Goku shrugged back. "I guess so," he replied. "It looks right, anyway."

The two proceeded to drape tinsel over every surface of the tree, Gojyo taking care of the top, and Goku tending to the bottom. At one point, the kappa tied a few pieces together, and giving the teen a teasing grin, he proceeded to step into his tinsel g-string. "Ne, Monkey, what do you think?" he asked as he twirled for the other, modelling his latest accessory.

Goku, who had been getting out the ornaments, giggled. "I think it makes you look like a fairy," he replied. "Seriously, would you _really_ wear something like that?"

Gojyo blinked, and then with a smirk, he tackled the other, losing his tinsel in the process. "I'll show you a fairy," he remarked as he noogied the chestnut locks and tickled the other until he took it back. "Heh." Getting to his feet again, he picked up his cigarettes and shook one out of the pack. "Ok, what'd you find in there?"

"Balls," Goku replied, and when he met the crimson eyes, he giggled.

"Huh. Guess our tree's a dude then, ne?" He winked suggestively at that as he lit his cigarette, and then he took the package the brunet handed him. He found the box with the miniscule hooks in them, and he began attaching them to the ornaments. Once he was finished, they started hanging them, Gojyo once again tending to the higher branches. When they were nearly finished, the kappa took two of the ornaments and suspended them from the zipper on his jeans. "Hey Goku, look! I have big blue balls!" He gave his hips a shake, making the glass ornaments swing against his crotch.

Goku laughed at that, and then he grabbed the ornaments and hung them on the tree. "Just like always, huh?" He was having a lot of fun with Gojyo - the kappa was pretty cool when Sanzo and Hakkai weren't around, and he felt a bit disappointed when he saw that they were done. "Hn, that's it. Looks pretty, though."

Gojyo smiled. He, too, had actually had a pretty enjoyable afternoon with the teen. "Yeah, Goku. It looks really pretty." He high-fived the teen, and then flopped down on the couch with his feet up on the table, and he set his cigarettes next to him.

"I'm going to go see if Sanzo's feeling better, and see if he wants to come see the tree," Goku announced after a few moments.

The kappa's smile faded some. "Yeah, Goku. You go do that," he said flatly. He exhaled heavily, and slipped a cigarette between his lips, feeling somewhat bitter that the teen so completely and totally worshipped Sanzo, and where he was concerned he just...didn't. He was annoyed at himself for feeling jealous, and in his irritation, he got up to get two more beers from the fridge. He drank one rather quickly, and halfway through the second, he shrugged. _Fuck it,_ he thought. _It's not like anyone's ever really felt that way about me. I don't need it._ He sighed as he looked at the Christmas tree. _But sometimes, maybe I want it._ He found himself thinking about Dokugakuji, and of the afternoon he'd just spent with Goku. Sometimes, like right then, he missed his big brother. And sometimes, like right then, he wished Goku saw him as one. His expression turned slightly wistful, and he took a long drink of his beer, only to curse when a weight bounced onto the cushion beside him, and he wound up spilling down his front. "Goku, what the hell?" he demanded when he felt the other slip his arms around his waist.

"I know Sanzo wasn't sick, Gojyo."

"Oookay...so, that doesn't explain this."

"I also know he made you come help me. But even if you really didn't want to, you were pretty cool about it all, pretending you were having fun and everything. So...thanks." The teen smiled up at him.

"Fuck, you're a weird, sad, little monkey," Gojyo replied, and then he snorted in amusement as he noogied him again and watched Goku try to get away. "Dumbass, I didn't pretend. It was...it was actually pretty fun." He winked. "Why can't you be like this all the time, and not a little pain in the ass?"

"Me? Like you're a fucking prize!" Goku replied hotly. "You always - _mmph_!!" His eyes went wide when he felt Gojyo's hand clamp over his mouth.

"I'm kidding, Goku." He shrugged and grinned. "It wouldn't be half as much fun if I didn't get to piss Sanzo off from time to time, yeah?" He chuckled a little as he let the other go. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Most of the time, I'm just looking to get His Holiness going."

Goku's eyes went wide. "No shit?"

"No shit."

"So you really _do_ like things like this?"

The hanyou rolled his eyes, and smirked. "Yeah, I like it." He paused for a minute. "That ok with you?"

Goku nodded, and as he remained pressed against the kappa, he glanced toward their project. "Yeah." He grinned brilliantly. "Yeah, that's really ok."


End file.
